If you have trauma in your energetic make up (the currents and patterns that determine your experience of daily life) you likely aren't aware of it. What you are aware of is feeling frustrated, anxious, and depressed ALL THE TIME.
You may be aware that your relationships are filled with miscommunications, micro aggressions, big aggressions, resentment, and unspoken frustrations.
You may feel like your anxiety rules your life. You may feel like it's unfair to be mistreated by those closest to you but feel powerless to change that.
You may be in a partnership where you can't seem to get on the same page about certain things no matter how hard you both try. You may feel bullied or controlled by your partner or you may feel the need to bully or control them. Likely it is both AND which only causes more shame and guilt and the need to hide.
You may feel so overwhelmed by confronting certain situations that you avoid them at all costs including checking out for minutes, hours, or days at a time only to resurface distanced from yourself, your relationships, and feeling powerless to change the specifics of your life.
This powerlessness can lead to hopelessness and compulsive behavior. It can result in different kinds of poverty: poverty of money, poverty of connection, poverty of self respect, poverty of knowing your own needs, poverty of power to create.
I'm sorry to draw such a grim picture but I've experienced this pattern over and over again and I know so many others who experience their own version of it day in and day out.
There's really good news here. This cycle is caused by pain that you buried and forgot about. You are subconsciously avoiding that pain and it is wreaking havoc on your happiness. But with lots of support and compassion you can address the pain. You can heal so it is no longer a button that can be pushed to set you off in your self desctructive cycle.
Even better you can build a whole new skill set of working with your inner experience that will create more fulfillment and happiness in your life.
This is where working with a healer trained in subtle energy comes in very handy because they can identify the energetic pattern with you so that you can heal with support. They can help you identify your pain and bring the first waves of loving compassion to you.
The process may feel messy and scary at first but once you build the muscle strength and memory it will become second nature. It takes time and trust. What better time to begin than now?
This process is best done with someone trained in subtle energy and trauma.
I have gained tremendous self respect, confidence, hope, and security from this work. I would be honored to support you in the same.
Janelle is a vibrational healer, circle maker, and artist. She lives in the Western North Carolina mountains with her family.
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