When you can't find your center, Reconnect.
I was talking with a friend this morning. She was reeling from a couple really intense personal circumstances the likes of which I wouldn't wish on anyone and they were happening all at the same time. She was very upset and calling to connect, to remember herself, to be reminded of who she really is. It took some time for her to let it all out in screeches and tears.
Once it was out I found myself responding with three things, three reminders of who I know her to be. I believe we are all these things and so I want to share them with you. Because life inevitably happens and we get thrown. We feel disconnected from our center and that is so painful. The sooner we can feel powerful and loved and connected the sooner we can get be with the pain of life and let it move through us. The healing can begin.
When we get knocked off our block gratitude usually goes too. When life feels like a crisis we go into crisis mode. Crisis mode typically feels numb and the breath exists only in the upper 1/4 of the body. It is shallow and sped up. When reconnecting with gratitude remember it is not the fast paced, "I'm just glad it wasn't "X" because it could have been so much worse." That is not the kind of gratitude that will help you remember yourself.
The kind of gratitude that will help you reconnect with your center comes with slow steady breathing and a deep knowing that you have so much to be grateful for and it comes with specifics. If you can't be specific you aren't there yet.
Specifics may sound like this, "I am so grateful for the sun shining through the window on my skin." "I am grateful that I have food in the refrigerator." "I am grateful I have the presence to feel right now because I am grounded in my body."
"I am grateful I have multiple friends I can call for support right now."
The best part of gratitude is it reconnects you to all your resources. It gives you hope and it reminds you that there are many possibilities for you to feel okay in between the intense waves of feeling that may come before the day is over.
your ability to create what you need
Part of the shock of a crisis is feeling frozen. This comes with a sense that everything is larger than life and more impossible than you can handle at this moment. Crisis takes us back to the powerless child place, where all the adult problems feel so big and impossible to fix.
Reconnect with the part of you that knows you'll create what you need when you need it and that you have the power to solve your own problems.
Here's when you need to remember all the times you've created what you need. How many times have you gotten that job right at the right time? How many times have you found an apartment just when you needed it? How many times have people really come through for you because you asked?
In crisis we tend to jump out of our bodies. It can take a while to come back in which is why this is the third and not the first strategy. This one is about creating in the world of material things. It is about being grounded in your life and making life your happen on a physical level. If you are finding it difficult to reconnect with this part of you work more with the first two until this one flows easily. Also you can use grounding strategies. Remind yourself that you are welcome in your body and in your life.
secrets to life
As I complete writing this I realize that these three powerful strategies aren't just great in a crisis or when we feel powerless. They are big secrets to life. They are worth cultivating daily so that when you need them you have them ready at hand.
Your center can become bigger so that when you get knocked you don't come all the way off of it. These three practices can help you stay connected and move through life with grace and ease.
Thank you for being here with me by reading this,
Our minds are tricky and can be filled with habitual thought patterns, PTSD driven, co-dependent, overactive mind, stress driven, etc.. It can be so challenging to create a positive life and truly experience hope and possibilities when your mind is spinning out in any of these directions. Along with grounding practices I've found that mantras are a powerful way to both give my mind something to do and keep a creative positive focus.
One place I've found mantras to be particularly helpful is with a specific thought pattern I'm working with healing. For example the voice in my head that says, "You are in trouble, you've done something wrong," or the one that says "You're not beautiful enough or your belly is too big so people won't love you."
As soon as the negative thought enters my mind I begin in with my mantra, repeating it until I feel I have control of my thoughts again. It helps to boost the power of your mantra. Spend some time cultivating it. 15-30 minutes of truly allowing it to enter my being by repeating it, resonating with it, and rolling it around inside myself means when I need to reach for it I have a strong foundation.
When the unwanted thoughts come the mantra flows easily in my mind because the pattern has already begun to settle into me. It still takes a bit of effort to override those ingrained thought patterns.
With each new phase of healing a new neurosis or habituated thought pattern emerges as primary. Then it's time for a new mantra.
I've found that eventually a mantra seeps into my being and becomes less needed. Sometimes I'll even forget about it for a while. This marks a plateau phase of healing.
Your mantra should feel like a healing balm to the particular pain created by the neurotic thinking you are experiencing. It may feel unbelievable at first. It may feel like a stretch. But somehow you feel deep down it is the antidote to what ails you.
I often work with mantras with my healing clients. It gives people a practice that they can develop within themselves and anchors the healing into their body and daily life. Spiritual practices are not separate from living. They become the breath of our living, infusing life with meaning.
I like mantras that have a thought with the IN breath and one on the OUT breath.
For example my first abundance mantra:
I accept myself (IN breath)
And trust the flow (OUT breath)
Once you have developed your mantra it is helpful to spend some time cultivating it. Breath in and out, relax, let it roll around inside you. 15-30 minutes is a great start.
If you have a regular meditation practice this is a good time to allow your mantra to take you to that deeper place within yourself.
Once your mantra is settled on and you have begun to cultivate it regularly, try repeating it while you are driving or washing dishes, then you will have it when those persistent thought patterns come.
These mantras can inspire you to create your own. Keep working with it till you create one that resonates with you. It must be yours and you must feel connected to it. This is what makes it powerful.
10 mantras for life
I would love to hear from you if one of these mantras helps you. They are meant for inspiration. Sometimes when you choose a mantra it changes as you repeat it. Go with the natural process and guidance of your soul.
If you would like more support I work with clients both in my healing space and over the phone.
Janelle is a vibrational healer, circle maker, and artist. She lives in the Western North Carolina mountains with her family.
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