When you can't find your center, Reconnect.
I was talking with a friend this morning. She was reeling from a couple really intense personal circumstances the likes of which I wouldn't wish on anyone and they were happening all at the same time. She was very upset and calling to connect, to remember herself, to be reminded of who she really is. It took some time for her to let it all out in screeches and tears.
Once it was out I found myself responding with three things, three reminders of who I know her to be. I believe we are all these things and so I want to share them with you. Because life inevitably happens and we get thrown. We feel disconnected from our center and that is so painful. The sooner we can feel powerful and loved and connected the sooner we can get be with the pain of life and let it move through us. The healing can begin.
When we get knocked off our block gratitude usually goes too. When life feels like a crisis we go into crisis mode. Crisis mode typically feels numb and the breath exists only in the upper 1/4 of the body. It is shallow and sped up. When reconnecting with gratitude remember it is not the fast paced, "I'm just glad it wasn't "X" because it could have been so much worse." That is not the kind of gratitude that will help you remember yourself.
The kind of gratitude that will help you reconnect with your center comes with slow steady breathing and a deep knowing that you have so much to be grateful for and it comes with specifics. If you can't be specific you aren't there yet.
Specifics may sound like this, "I am so grateful for the sun shining through the window on my skin." "I am grateful that I have food in the refrigerator." "I am grateful I have the presence to feel right now because I am grounded in my body."
"I am grateful I have multiple friends I can call for support right now."
The best part of gratitude is it reconnects you to all your resources. It gives you hope and it reminds you that there are many possibilities for you to feel okay in between the intense waves of feeling that may come before the day is over.
your ability to create what you need
Part of the shock of a crisis is feeling frozen. This comes with a sense that everything is larger than life and more impossible than you can handle at this moment. Crisis takes us back to the powerless child place, where all the adult problems feel so big and impossible to fix.
Reconnect with the part of you that knows you'll create what you need when you need it and that you have the power to solve your own problems.
Here's when you need to remember all the times you've created what you need. How many times have you gotten that job right at the right time? How many times have you found an apartment just when you needed it? How many times have people really come through for you because you asked?
In crisis we tend to jump out of our bodies. It can take a while to come back in which is why this is the third and not the first strategy. This one is about creating in the world of material things. It is about being grounded in your life and making life your happen on a physical level. If you are finding it difficult to reconnect with this part of you work more with the first two until this one flows easily. Also you can use grounding strategies. Remind yourself that you are welcome in your body and in your life.
secrets to life
As I complete writing this I realize that these three powerful strategies aren't just great in a crisis or when we feel powerless. They are big secrets to life. They are worth cultivating daily so that when you need them you have them ready at hand.
Your center can become bigger so that when you get knocked you don't come all the way off of it. These three practices can help you stay connected and move through life with grace and ease.
Thank you for being here with me by reading this,